Q5:music
Music has inspired filmmakers and photographers investigating the connections between sound and image. In the video Dancing in Peckham by Gillian Wearing, the artist dances to music that is inaudible to the public around her. The direction and speed of movement in a musical performance is recorded in The Cellist by Anton Giulio Bragaglia. The black and white photography of Francis Wolff features many important jazz musicians with their instruments during recording sessions and rehearsals. Investigate appropriate sources and produce your own response to Music.
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INTRODUCTION
INITIAL IDEAS
I chose music because since I've already experimented with sound and photography I was interested in ways I could experiment with it. My first thought was to try and explore my relationship with music.
- experiment with videoing myself doing tasks listening to music and my movement
- explore the mood and emotion I feel when listening to certain music through video
- create a series of portraits where subjects are photographed while listening to their favorite music
- use photography to visually represent the feelings and memories associated with each song, creating a visual diary of your life through music
Dancing in peckham- gillian wearing
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"Dancing in Peckham" by Wearing is a performance piece set in an Asylum center. What sets it apart is the fact that Wearing is solely performing for the camera, ignoring her surroundings with eyes closed. The clear lack of headphones and audio in the video making it clear that no music is playing out loud this creates the illusion that she dances to internal music. As someone without an internal monologue or visual imagery, this idea intrigued me. I've always described the way my brain works as "layers," lacking in vivid mental images or inner voices but still fully able to "hear" my thoughts and conceptualise images. The idea of trying to convey the music in my head without these abilities posed an interesting challenge that I was eager to explore.
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This is a visual representation of different levels of which people can conjure images in their head. However, 1%-3% of people with Aphantasia can only see number 1. I am apart of that very rare percentage who can only conceptualise what things look like rather than see it in my head. After exploring the uniqueness of my brain, having the realisation that the "music" in other peoples' brain is much different to mine was so an avenue i couldn’t ignore. The knowledge that my brain cant come up with pictures or audio the same way others can and although this doesn't cause intellectual or cognitive hindrance it's interesting since I'm extremely creative. The knowledge that I "hear" things differently to other people who can perfectly imagine and remember music and play it in their head at anytime was some that surprised me and seemed unreal.
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Since I was young, I've often joked about my brain, saying things like "I don’t want to use that part of my brain." I've always imagined my brain as layers, constantly shifting and evolving. These layers are not fixed; they change, become obsolete, rearrange, and new ones can emerge. This is the closest way I can describe how I perceive my brain.
The 1st layer is fatigue, which I've experienced intermittently throughout my life. This can be attributed to ADHD and is a common symptom.
The 2nd layer consists of "forced thoughts," which encompass activities like academics, texting, writing, problem-solving, and considering composition in photography, among others—moments where one must be actively aware, engaged in thought, and strategically maneuvering through various tasks and challenges.
The 3rd layer pertains to memories. Typically, I recall either dialogue or scenery, seldom both. I've noticed that none of my memories include "background" noises, and I only remember audio if it involves someone speaking. Additionally, I've realized I can't recall smells. While I can remember dialogue and scenery, it's crucial to note that I don't visually "see" the scenery; I can conceptualise it and note details, but that's the extent of it. When recalling dialogue, it's essentially like remembering a script; I can't hear anyone else's voice in my head.
The 4th layer is dedicated solely to hyperfixations and special interests, influenced by my ADHD and ASD. Throughout my life, I've had an intense fascination with frogs, even catching them when I was younger. This has been one of my earliest special interests and the most consistent one throughout my life. Hyperfixations, on the other hand, are intense bursts of interest in a particular subject, hobby, or show, which I can focus intensely on for a period. During extreme cases of hyperfocus, it can be challenging to focus on anything else.
The 5th layer serves as a space for "ADHD rambling," characterised by nonsensical and unrelated ranting consistently occurring in my head. However, it's not a clear, coherent voice; rather, it's like a very muffled voice speaking in a language I vaguely know. I'm aware of its presence, but it's not crystal clear English word vomit. Despite this, some words or thoughts occasionally break through, leading to abrupt interruptions in conversations and frantic Google searches that make no sense.
The 6th layer, I believe, is one that everyone possesses to some extent. Anxiety is a common sensation experienced by many people.
The last layer is arguably the most unusual, however, it's what fully connects this idea of the difference in "music" in our brains.
To convey "the music in my brain," I'll delve into various artists, photographers, and videographers whose work relates to each. individual "layer" while also exploring video and sound experiments.
Fatigue
Francesca woodman
Francesca Woodman's photography, while not explicitly delving into themes of fatigue, mental exhaustion, or brain fog, possesses a captivating quality that draws viewers into a reflective journey. Through her exploration of identity, viewers may find themselves navigating their own mental landscapes, interpreting her work through the lens of their own emotional experiences. Woodman's signature moody, monochrome style, coupled with her use of long exposure techniques, creates an atmosphere of distortion and ambiguity, inviting viewers to confront the complexities of the human psyche.
In particular, one of Woodman's images that resonates deeply with the notion of mental exhaustion is the photograph where she is enveloped in what appears to be numerous fur coats. The composition of the image, with the camera angled downward toward Woodman, coupled with her blank expression, suggests a sense of overwhelming weight or burden. The layers of fur surrounding her almost seem to smother and engulf her, evoking a feeling of being suffocated by the demands of the mind.
The monochrome palette further enhances the sense of mental fatigue depicted in the photograph. The absence of color strips away distractions, leaving behind a stark and somber visual landscape that mirrors the draining nature of mental exhaustion. The grayscale tones create a sense of heaviness, amplifying the emotional weight conveyed by Woodman.
Moreover, the fact that Woodman's self is partially obscured within the layers of fur adds another layer of complexity to the image's representation of mental fatigue. It suggests a sense of isolation and detachment as if the self has become lost amidst the overwhelming fog of exhaustion. The act of nesting within the coats can be interpreted as a desperate attempt to seek refuge or find solace amidst the chaos of the mind.
While her work may not explicitly address themes of fatigue, it offers an unique reflection on the intricate interplay between the mind, body, and emotions, inviting viewers to explore the depths of their own psychological experiences.
In particular, one of Woodman's images that resonates deeply with the notion of mental exhaustion is the photograph where she is enveloped in what appears to be numerous fur coats. The composition of the image, with the camera angled downward toward Woodman, coupled with her blank expression, suggests a sense of overwhelming weight or burden. The layers of fur surrounding her almost seem to smother and engulf her, evoking a feeling of being suffocated by the demands of the mind.
The monochrome palette further enhances the sense of mental fatigue depicted in the photograph. The absence of color strips away distractions, leaving behind a stark and somber visual landscape that mirrors the draining nature of mental exhaustion. The grayscale tones create a sense of heaviness, amplifying the emotional weight conveyed by Woodman.
Moreover, the fact that Woodman's self is partially obscured within the layers of fur adds another layer of complexity to the image's representation of mental fatigue. It suggests a sense of isolation and detachment as if the self has become lost amidst the overwhelming fog of exhaustion. The act of nesting within the coats can be interpreted as a desperate attempt to seek refuge or find solace amidst the chaos of the mind.
While her work may not explicitly address themes of fatigue, it offers an unique reflection on the intricate interplay between the mind, body, and emotions, inviting viewers to explore the depths of their own psychological experiences.
Daidō Moriyama
Daido Moriyama's iconic street photography, characterized by its gritty aesthetic and unconventional compositions, offers a compelling lens through which to explore the concept of mental fatigue. One of the most striking aspects of Moriyama's work is his intentional use of out-of-focus elements, which adds a layer of ambiguity and abstraction to his images. This deliberate blurring of boundaries between subjects and surroundings can be interpreted as a visual metaphor for the brain fog experienced. Much like the haze that clouds the mind, the blurred elements in Moriyama's photographs disrupt conventional perception and invite viewers to confront the disorienting nature of their own mental states.
Moreover, Moriyama's unconventional and unexpected compositions further contribute to the immersive and unsettling experience of his photography.By defying traditional norms of composition, Moriyama challenges viewers to question their preconceived notions of reality and invites them to reflect on the inherent chaos in urban life. In doing so, his work prompts a deeper reflection on the psychological toll of navigating chaotic and overwhelming environments, thereby resonating with the experience of mental fatigue. In Japan's strict capitalistic society, urban life can be extremely draining, pushing individuals to their limits. Businessmen, in particular, are often photographed in moments of vulnerability, such as sleeping in bushes or blacked out drunk immediately after leaving work. These stark images highlight the immense pressure and stress of meeting capitalist demands, which can take a significant toll on mental health.
Moriyama's photography practices serve as a powerful mirror to these realities, capturing the raw essence of urban life with unflinching honesty. His bold and gritty depictions force viewers to confront the harsh realities of contemporary society, including the toll it takes on individuals' mental and emotional well-being. Through his lens, Moriyama not only documents the chaos and exhaustion of urban existence but also invites viewers to empathize with the struggles of those caught in its relentless grip.
In essence, Moriyama's photography serves as a poignant exploration of the complexities of the human psyche, inviting viewers to confront the disorienting effects of mental fatigue through its deliberate use of ambiguity, abstraction, and unconventional composition.
Moreover, Moriyama's unconventional and unexpected compositions further contribute to the immersive and unsettling experience of his photography.By defying traditional norms of composition, Moriyama challenges viewers to question their preconceived notions of reality and invites them to reflect on the inherent chaos in urban life. In doing so, his work prompts a deeper reflection on the psychological toll of navigating chaotic and overwhelming environments, thereby resonating with the experience of mental fatigue. In Japan's strict capitalistic society, urban life can be extremely draining, pushing individuals to their limits. Businessmen, in particular, are often photographed in moments of vulnerability, such as sleeping in bushes or blacked out drunk immediately after leaving work. These stark images highlight the immense pressure and stress of meeting capitalist demands, which can take a significant toll on mental health.
Moriyama's photography practices serve as a powerful mirror to these realities, capturing the raw essence of urban life with unflinching honesty. His bold and gritty depictions force viewers to confront the harsh realities of contemporary society, including the toll it takes on individuals' mental and emotional well-being. Through his lens, Moriyama not only documents the chaos and exhaustion of urban existence but also invites viewers to empathize with the struggles of those caught in its relentless grip.
In essence, Moriyama's photography serves as a poignant exploration of the complexities of the human psyche, inviting viewers to confront the disorienting effects of mental fatigue through its deliberate use of ambiguity, abstraction, and unconventional composition.
Key features to include
# Monochrome colour palette
# Self-portraits
# Blank expression
# Experimenting with composition
# Grit/ noise
# Self-portraits
# Blank expression
# Experimenting with composition
# Grit/ noise
music
What music I'm going to listen to whist doing the "fatigue" photoshoot to influence the mood of fatigue.
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Some songs have certain melodies and lyrics have an uncanny ability to capture the essence of mental fatigue, resonating with listeners on a profound level. Tracks like Mazzy Star's "Fade Into You," Mitski's "Drunk Walk Home," Lana Del Rey's "Born to Die," and Radiohead's "No Surprises" stand as poignant examples of this emotional landscape.
"Mazzy Star - Fade Into You" The lyrics, particularly the lines "I want to hold the hand inside you / I want to take a breath that's true," convey a longing for connection amidst a sense of detachment. This longing, coupled with the song's melancholic tone, mirrors the mental fatigue of feeling disconnected from oneself and others.Also lyrics such as "I look to you and I see nothing, I look to you to see the truth" relays feeling of past admiration and connection and that longing that not longer is possible and being exhausted from trying to imagine and get it back knowing it wont ever be back. In Mitski's "Drunk Walk Home" - The raw intensity of the music mirrors the tumultuous emotions of the protagonist. The lyrics paint a vivid picture of recklessness and desperation, with lines like "And I'd do anything to feel weightless again / I'd do anything to be weightless again." This longing for escape and the desperation to shed the burdens of reality resonate deeply with the experience of mental fatigue, where every step feels like a struggle. The song speaks volumes of desperations for normality, especially the instrumental component which provides an angry energy consistently throughout the song which is fitting since anger is usually a common emotion to be coupled with fatigue Lana Del Rey's "Born to Die" - The lyrics, particularly the refrain "Choose your last words, this is the last time / 'Cause you and I, we were born to die," speak to a sense of inevitability and acceptance of fate. This sense of resignation mirrors the exhaustion of mental fatigue, where the weight of existence feels overwhelming and inescapable. This sense of having given up whilst being dependant (on death) is consistent with fatigue as people who experience mental fatigue for extended periods of time.This is due to the fact that people with no mental energy often give up on more mundane simple tasks and become dependant on others or just start living "simpler". Radiohead's "No Surprises"- offers a stark portrayal of disillusionment and numbness, with its minimalist instrumentation and detached vocals mirroring the lack of energy someone facing mental exhaustion has and the feeling of detachment to life they feel. The lyrics, including the refrain "No alarms and no surprises, please," convey a desire for simplicity and an aversion to anything that might disrupt the fragile peace of numbness. This numbness echoes the numbness of mental fatigue, where the world loses its colour and meaning, and all that's left is a sense of emptiness. |
My first experimentation - fatigue
This was my first attempt to photograph using key points I had derived from the photographers I picked out. For my next set trying to photograph fatigue i definitely need to try taking some from further away and creating distance between me and the camera.
experimenting with editing f
Experimenting with editing allowed me to include things such as noise that I wanted to include but also allowed me to "blend" images with i really like the effect of and gave a sense of not being fully there which is what people with feelings of fatigue often feel.
Experimenting with music
This was my experimentation of trying to include specific points of each part of the songs I picked that I believe represent fatigue. I have never worked with sound in this way so this was really hard to "mash" multiple different songs together that are different and trying to make it sound as ok as possible.However, I do think that some of that confusion and unpredictability does play into fatigue because at least when I feel fatigued its harder to process and and understand whats going on around me.
Film
This is my first draft of how i want to present my pictures but i dont think I have enough pictures to do a full film so this was just experimentation and playing around with how long and how I'd present the pictures along with the sound.
2nd experiment
I experimented with presenting fatigue again, this time straying away from the influence of Daido Moriyama and leaning into features of Francesca Woodman that I like most. Especially the dramatic poses and blending into the background but instead of merging into the background like Woodman does with long exposure I attempted to blend with the mess and clothes instead. This was done intentionally to mirror the lack of energy to clean and keep up with life.
forced thoughts
francis wolff
Wolff serves as my primary source of inspiration and serves as the cornerstone for focus. His ability to capture musicians wholly engrossed in their work is beautifully done. The lack of eye contact creates an atmosphere where the musicians seem unaware of its presence, which is pivotal.Coupled with the close proximity of the camera intensifies the experience, adding to the depth and immersion of the moment.
KEY FEATURES TO INCLUDE
# self portraits
# no eye contact
# making sure to stay closer when taking pictures
# no eye contact
# making sure to stay closer when taking pictures
music
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For this layer, I opted for classical music. This decision was carefully considered, as it reflects the immense time, dedication, and focus required to be able to play an instrument to the level necessary level to be in an orchestra or to perform such a piece. But additionally, it speaks to the depth of knowledge cultivated over years and years of devotion to the craft, essential for composing music . This is why I chose to emphasise Beethoven in particular when selecting the music. While Antonio Vivaldi crafted masterpieces such as "The Four Seasons," Beethoven, despite his deafness, blazed a trail for musicians that endures to this day. His legacy as one of history's most revered musicians was no accident, especially given his staggering output of 722 compositions over a span of 45 years.
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Unedited stills
These are some stills I took when recording myself studying whilst listening to the classical music above whilst studying to emulate focus. I'm pretty happy with the way these turned out, during it I tried focusing my attention in 2 different ways. At the beginning I was focused on revising my more academic subjects such as sociology but after I directed my focus to writing poetry which allowed me to exhibit my focus in different ways with various levels of creativity whilst being focused.
experimentation
I tried presenting the footage and photos in a video format however I don't completely like the way it turned out and think that if I were to try experimenting again printing out the photos and having them on a wall and rephotographing them that way would be much more effective.
memories
sophie calle
Calle takes pictures of her surrounding environment from varying proximity. I thought taking pictures this way as a way to be able to show personal memories would be best as it would allow for the place where the memory took place to be the key focus of the photo instead of trying to capture the memory itself. This way I feel as if I can still keep the pictures personal to me whilst still allowing the viewer to try and decipher it.
KEY FEATURES TO INCLUDE
# varying proximity to reflect how many memories I have there or how well I can remember them and to also give the illusion of an outside perspective
# people I know or myself can't be in the picture
# people I know or myself can't be in the picture
music
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Initially, I picked songs for this section that are generally considered nostalgic and trigger memories for some people, featuring artists such as The Beatles and Frank Sinatra. While these artists are undoubtedly great, their music held no personal value or memories for me, feeling rather impersonal. Instead, I opted to include the main music I had access to at home when I was younger, which was Brazilian gospel music. Aline Barros emerged as the predominant artist in my selection, with CDs I would play so frequently as a child so much that they stopped working, it felt like an obvious choice. This adjustment fosters a deeper and more personal connection within this layer.
I have both gospel music from her intended for children but also songs I'd hear in the main service of the church where adults would congregate. This allows for a mix of different memories in all sorts of places as this was the main source of music I had growing up. |
photoshoot
My focus during this photo shoot was to mainly shoot in the area in which I grew up, it allowed me to reconnect and talk to people I haven't in a while but also rediscovered memories I had forgotten about.
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I took photos from my childhood, matching them up to photos of the setting in which they took place. This created diptychs and triptychs that capture where my memories took place. This allows the viewer to understand the personal aspect of these photos whilst still not revealing the context of them. I'm really happy with how these turned out and I think this is the best way I could have displayed it.
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Hyperfixations & special interests
Yayoi Kusama
Kusama uses a lot of repeating lines, shapes and patterns and although her craft isn't photography her use of patterns, colours and posing makes the pieces feel very overwhelming which would reflect how others may see people who have hyperfixations or special interests.
key features to nclude
# repeating pattern, shape, colour thing
# posed in around it in a way that ur apart of it
# posed in around it in a way that ur apart of it
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I chose these songs that had strong themes of obsession as that is often what people interpret as special interests or hyper fixations for neurodivergent people and it can be what it feels like. Although, it's not quite the same.
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experiment
I tried having the repeating pattern and colours but with out having to draw. I ended up trying to achieve it with consistent colours and subject which ended up being the colour pink and sanrio (specifically hello kitty and my melody as they are my special interest as an autistic person). I like the way i was able to try and experiment with creating some sort of pattern with things i already have.
experimentation
I tried experimenting with blocking out any part of my skin, this was in an attempt to make the obsession the full front of the picture and block out any humanity, I think it did a good job exaggerating the obsession especially since I covered myself in pink.
ADHD RAMBLING
joel meyerowitz
The way that his photos seem almost normal and mundane apart from a singular detail is why I'm so attracted to the idea of using his work style to represent the constant rambling in my head. This is as I think the continuous rambling is also almost completely normal but gets triggered by strange things or ends up delving into a weird stream of thought, things just seem to slightly not match up.
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I thought rap was the best genre of music for this layer, especially very fast-paced rap as it serves as a way to mirror the face of which these thoughts pop up and infold in my head. Fast pace rap can be sometimes hard to understand and very hard to try and keep up with if you're trying to relay the lyrics which is a feeling I often have to deal with when trying to keep up with my thoughts when talking.
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experimentation
anxious thoughts
jocelyn allen
Allen is able to use techniques such as hiding or distorting her face and drawing to create a sense of anxiety around her, these are key features I'm sure to include since I think they very easily reflect that sense of uneasy. What also acts to it is her often more compact poses.
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For this layer I picked a few songs that are quite uneasy to listen to and amplify anxiety since I know a lot of people when they do feel anxious gravitate towards this type of music to validate their emotions and its able to bring out some anxiety within you ,atleast for me.
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Photos
These are unedited stills from a video I recorded where I was listening to the music above and trying to represent the anxiety within visually through things I usually do when anxious.
Experimentation
I tried experimenting with blocking out my face in this as it for one combines the 2 things Allen would do which is hide her face and have more artistic elements to some of her photos but also I feel as though it represents the stress I feel where I stop feeling human or myself.
tv static
antony cairns
These are (mainly) stills from Cairns film he made and I think replicating this glitchy effect within a film would be the most appropriate way of representing TV static as it often is most apparent when doing something incredibly mundane such as traveling, doing chores etc.
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I chose this strange, experimental type of music for this layer as TV static itself isn't music by conventional standards. So having something that vaguely sounded like music whilst having no vocals, and not many classic instruments like drums or piano seemed important.
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experimentation with film
I made the choice to keep the original audio of the bus and the surroundings quiet often when the feeling of the static in my head is most apparent is when I'm not wearing headphones and I think it adds to it, I'm happy with the way this turned out.
making day focus shift
Blind Clay Music from Jon Nicholls on Vimeo. |
I've decided to redirect the way I represent these layers of my brain through music. During the making day, I'm going to be focusing on listening to music I have dedicated to these different layers whilst blindly sculpting to it. This will allow for me to sculpt something based off of touch alone and what the music evokes from me so it will be a physical manifestation of the music. I will be focusing on a couple of the layers and not all since I think that is overly ambitious.
The video is a sped up clip of me experimenting with clay for the first time in a long time again. |